My Youth Romantic Comedy is as Unfortunate as I Expected
by Shidu
Summary: Youth is evil, he often says that. The lonely student and his rotten worldview. However due to certain incidents, he has to join the Service Club, that way maybe he can change a little.
1. Chapter 1

_**Subject 001: As Expected this is a Bad Prologue**_

* * *

I hate this.

I really hate him so much that I wanted to get out of here.

This could be considered a bad prologue.

Empty words had been uttered by the other students during class hours. The students showed that expression of happiness on their faces just being friendly, popular, going to parties, celebrating their youth as if nothing else mattered.

I sighed deeply as I took the seat farthest from the classroom. Too cliché, but I am not the character of some light novel where the protagonist is popular with the others. Instead I can say that I am the antagonist.

Yes, that's how I would define myself.

The antagonist who tries by all means screw up the lives of others.

But I was too tired to try to dominate the world or at least my city.

Since I am a student after all.

Without saying a word I headed in total and absolute calm to that corner, that place that allows me to be seated. To my right there was an empty seat and in front of me was a girl talking about something that is not worth to tell it.

But I was getting off the point.

I took out a sheet and placed it on the desk.

I looked it with utmost care and false determination. This work was really necessary if you want to approve this class.

That woman, she is doing it again.

And this is what brings us to this particular moment. After writing for more than an hour and after the bell set the time for rest I was called by the teacher.

I entered with a lot of cynicism towards the teachers' room and showed myself before a face that indicated that something was wrong with my writing.

I said nothing.

I don't greet her.

Nor did I make any expression of fear or insecurity.

Because I am sure that what is written on that piece of paper, is correct.

I hate this.

"...I'm here."

She tilted her head a little as if the words I had uttered were nothing but false delusions from the sick mind of some writer of some mystery novel.

I really hate the silences and even more when the interlocutor does not do something for the talk to continue. It's like the ridiculous speech in front of some festival. That made me reminds that festival in my elementary school. I am not very good with the words and the obvious criticism that comes out of my lips is like acid rain that contaminates and destroys the illusions of those who try to even understand the reason of my thinking.

But negativity is in my life and I don't say that I am the culprit. There is another thing that accompanies that absurd negativity and that is obviously, my bad luck.

For example, finding a ticket on the street and then being accused of thief. Or be accused of spying on women's restroom or for some reason stumble and fall on a blonde girl right on the first day of school.

That kind of absurd things that make me think about how stupid and uncontrollable is the power of God.

So, it is that curse that I call 'bad luck' and that uncomfortably becomes present in the most unexpected moments the culprit of all this.

That is why I can say that those who enjoy their youth and still complain about the misfortunes of their life.

I can only tell one thing to that class of people.

"Just die."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Subject 002:**_ _ **As Expected it's the Pathetic Life of a Student**_

* * *

"What's this Kamijou?"

That sounded like a 'what the hell is this shit?' or something similar, but it is perfectly understood what she tries to express with her voice. I have to say that the other teacher's voice was quite the opposite of what Shizuka Hiratsuka was about to say, but fortunately this time Komoe-sensei stepped in and the reprimand was not so severe.

"This is the essay, the homework, here is precisely detailed the most important points of the topic assigned by you."

A vein throbbed in her forehead as Shizuka Hiratsuka, our Japanese Language teacher, read my essay out loud. Listening to this in this way, I began to have some apprehensions about my writing ability.

"Tell me Kamijou, do you remember what I said was the theme for this essay?"

"Let's see... write an essay describing the most important points in society as well as the importance of communication between individuals."

"Indeed it is so, so can you tell me what this is?"

Hiratsuka-sensei let out another sigh and scratched her head in frustration.

"Is there anything wrong with my writing?"

"You really are an idiot, this is the second time you have problems."

She said with obvious anger, as she dropped a rolled up paper over my head.

"This essay doesn't make sense it's as if a chuunibyou would have written this!"

She dropped my work on the table making a very loud sound. Komoe-sensei seemed to want to cry at one point or another.

"What did I do wrong for Kamijou-chan to behave this way?"

The small teacher lamented like a mother who blames herself for the disasters caused by her disobedient son.

What happens to this scene?

Hurry up with whatever is my punishment so I can go home. After class and after writing this regrettable essay, I, Kamijou Touma, was called by none other than a teacher who does nothing but meddle in the lives of others.

If she used that energy she would probably find a husband.

Hiratsuka-sensei is the kind of teacher who can turn your peaceful life into a total hell.

"I'm so sorry, I'll rewrite it."

"You know, it's not that I'm mad at you."

She really was not angry. But if we think carefully we can verify that women's way of thinking is still an enigma. They say they are not angry when they truly are. They say things like 'I look cute' 'Do not you think I've gained weight recently?' And so on, but the fact is they just want to hear what they want.

"Your eyes are glassy like a rotten fish."

"Do they really look that rich in omega-3s? I must be a genius."

"What did you say?"

"I said nothing."

"I thought so, on the other hand, have you joined a club?"

"I have not done it."

Anyway, why does Hiratsuka-sensei bring that theme out of nowhere? As I said, I have not joined any club. There is nothing that catches my attention.

"I see, you're as lazy as ever, are not you?"

She said as she pulled a cigarette from her purse and turned it on. Oi that smoke is dangerous; it causes my tear ducts to flow.

"I'm not a lazy person, I prefer the term 'A person who saves energy' and besides, I'm in the club to go home."

I said with some apathy, while Hiratsuka-sensei gave me another warning look.

"Kamijou-chan, you shouldn't waste your precious days of school."

Komoe-sensei added while arguing with Hiratsuka-sensei about the effects of smoking.

Thanks to her, that damn smell left.

"Changing the subject, do you have friends? Or maybe some girlfriend."

She asked me under the assumption that I do not have any.

"I ... I believe in the equality, above all else. Therefore, I don't believe in close, interpersonal relationships with anyone in particular!"

"In short, do not you have friends?"

"You ... you don't have to say it so directly ..."

As I answered, her face began to emanate a feeling of overwhelming expectation.

"So you do not have friends! I knew it! It looks like I hit the nail right! I knew it the moment I saw that glassy look in your eyes!"

If you could only know by looking, then do not bother asking me about not having any friends in the first place.

Nodding in self-approval she looked me in the face with a reserved expression.

"Okay, rewrite your report."

"All right..."

Oh, and I will.

"Anyway, your inconsiderate speech and attitudes certainly hurt my feelings."

"That's why I'm ordering you to participate in the Service Club activities. All, sins must be punished, right? "

"The Service Club activities? ... So what am I supposed to do?"

I asked timidly. For all I know, it could be as harmless as cleaning up ditches, God forbid, kidnapping. Things that, after said, cause you sleepless nights. That kind of things.

"Come with me."

With that, she extinguished her cigarette in the densely filled ashtray and stood up.

"Good luck, Kamijou-chan."

Komoe-sensei encouraged me.

No, I really don't want this.

There I was without any explanation or introduction to this sudden proposal, before me. Hiratsuka was already at the door when she turned to look at me.

"Come on, move!"

With the squeaking sound of the door and my eyebrows furrowed, I followed her.

I have a bad feeling about this.

First, these Service Club activities are not as well defined as they seem.

"Here."

She stood in front of a classroom with nothing particularly unusual about her.

There was not even something written on the plaque above the entrance.

Staring, I was having strange thoughts until Hiratsuka-sensei suddenly opened the door. For a moment I was perplexed but then my senses returned as I looked at the room.

It was a common classroom like the others, there was nothing different, but if one focused his attention could easily distinguish the figure within this place.

There was a girl seated elegantly in a chair reading a book as if nothing else existed or mattered here. She was so immersed in her reading that she did not notice our presence. She had long black hair, her eyes moving between the pages of that book that she held between her thin, feminine hands.

For a second I lost my composure, but immediately returned to my negative self.

"Hiratsuka-sensei I told you to knock the door before entering."

"You never answer when I do."

"That's because you come in anyway."

She turns her gaze to me noticing my presence.

"What is that thing next to you?"

That bitch just called my 'thing'?

"Oh, he's a new member joining the club."

"I am Kamijou Touma, class 1F, it is a pleasure."

I said in an amused tone, Oi, Oi, what's wrong with me?

She made a puzzled look at that, well, in fact I was just the same.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I did not tell you before? This is your punishment for your recent faults and of course you cannot deny it, you understand?"

"Ah."

I said with resignation.

"I refuse."

"Ah?"

The girl who was sitting closed the book and put it on the table, after that, she brushed her hair, looking at us.

"I'm sorry to ask you this favor, Yukinoshita, but please allow this boy to stay here, maybe him learn something."

"I don't want to be in the same room with him, his eyes are way too for me, he have a look authentic unpleasant."

Yukinoshita Yukino, of course I know who she is. The ice queen, the perfection made in person and a long etc.

"Well, since she refuses, we'd better not contradict her decisions and I remember that I have something to do with a friend."

I tried to open a path to the door, but Hiratsuka-sensei immediately stepped in and looked at me menacingly.

Who the hell are you? A delinquent or a Yakuza?

"If I remember correctly, you have no friends."

"You don't have to say it!"

"Well, I cannot seem to convince you, it's a pity."

The Sensei made a face of resignation, but then I saw that malevolent gleam in her eyes.

"But who would say, even Yukinoshita Yukino is afraid."

And stupidly she bit the bait.

"No way, but it's disgusting to be seen by those rotten eyes."

Yukinoshita said as she covered her chest with both hands.

"You are the only one who can compose his rotten being."

She's just feeding her ego after all.

Yukinoshita meditated a little and then moved her lips.

"Well, but still I think that's not a good idea."

"It's done! Since now the service club has a new member, hurray!"

Sensei shouted encouragingly.

Yawn *, I'm so tired.

"I'm going home if you do not mind."

It was late and the sun was setting in the distance, the students moved through the hallways laughing and talking as if it was the maximum thing that anyone can do in life.

"Fine, but I'll give you a quick warning."

"It's not necessary I'm not going to run away."

I said with disdain.

In fact one cannot flee from this world, all that is left to do is to get ahead.

I just want one thing.

Something genuine.

I don't mind being accepted by others, I just want to find something worthwhile.

And that's how a teenage life gets wrapped up in laughter, comedy and love things I'm not able to understand or maybe, I don't know.

But, I am going to destroy the rules of this world.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Subject 003: As Expected Youth is nothing more than a dangerous virus**_

* * *

It is not an exaggeration to say that I hate vending machines. Those damn machines of metal with the products in sight of the consumer that attract you as if it were some kind of hypnosis, something that plays with your mind and that makes you want to buy something that you don't even want. At the moment of placing my thousand-yen bill I knew that I was signing some pact with some demonic entity.

All I wanted was a drink to refresh my throat. But it is said that one does not always get what one wants, life does not always go in the direction one chooses, life drags along difficulties, sorrows, joys and other feelings that are not always acceptable. Things like that make you think life really is a 'bitch' just like Yukinoshita Yukino.

I have to deal with that girl for the next three years or at least find some way out of that club.

Why would I want to help others in the first place?

During my childhood no one helped me, no one cared if I was well, if I was sad and there was never a word of appreciation. Simply being the black cat of bad luck I was excluded by others.

But there is no resentment I know that people will always be selfish. Each one will see for their own interests and that is something that you cannot change. So life can really be a real bitch.

I sighed after my failed attempt to buy a drink.

As I said before, the vending machines are demons wrapped in metal, screws and delicious drinks and goodies that can be seen through that crystal.

"It cannot be! Really that was all the money I had left!"

I said with fury, kicking the machine, but my money never returned from the depths.

"Really ... I'm unlucky."

It's useless for me to have any expectations and it's useless for me to make an effort. Whatever I do, the route I choose is useless.

"The shadow of misfortune will always follow you ... Uh…"

Those words are always inside my mind as if I had listened to them yesterday. I raised my hand to the sky and slowly closed my palm.

"This is my curse after all."

It is said that one cannot escape the curse of a god. For all eternity, wherever you go, that curse will follow you.

That must be some kind of joke, but obviously my misfortune is the clear evidence of what I'm talking about. It is not a lie, it is not a story written by someone, and it is not a nightmare from which one can wake up.

This is my reality.

Bad luck and death always go hand in hand.

So touching my own hand is like being chained to death itself.

Kamijou Touma will not be able to escape from that curse unless...

And for some reason I am not able to remember the rest of that phrase and much less I can know who the one who said those was words that until now resonate in the depths of my thoughts.

All I can do is keep myself isolated from others.

I don't want anyone to get hurt.

Like her.

The sun was too hot to be standing thinking about things that I cannot change anymore so I decided to go home.

On the other hand my money never returned.

"Even if I don't believe in those things and even if the world is not as others believe it, we have to accept the fact that there are things that are beyond our simple understanding."

"That's a pretty interesting thought."

Someone interrupts my inner monologue that probably unknowingly had been heard by some stranger who walked here

It was a girl.

To judge by her uniform she belongs to the same school as me and she was probably someone I had never seen, but considering that I am an antisocial, it is not surprising that I don't know their names or faces. For a person who attends classes monotonously, without interest and without paying any kind of attention like me, presumably the world will not pay any attention to an insignificant being like me.

But that girl had answered.

But that girl had shown some interest in someone like me.

That girl must have something in mind, I thought. She may be one of those people who amuse themselves with the feelings of those who have failed. There were those kinds of people who only mock the misfortunes of others, the popular, those who are above all. Instinctively I took a step back. Maybe it's the instinct that shows a prey being stalked by its predator; after all, humans were once wild beings. Well, they still are, just a little more civilized.

My hands were a little sweaty and my breathing stirred a little. To be honest I'm not the kind of person who can talk to strangers so openly.

Now, this person is a girl.

Women are beings that I still don't fully understand.

You cannot know with certainty what they are planning.

I tried to divert my gaze, since that is a way of seeing what the other is thinking, after all it is said that a look is worth more than a thousand words.

But she was there with that smile.

You are wrong; someone who has stepped on battlefields like that, an expert, a veteran like me will not fall into such vain words. Maybe she's just trying to get something from me. As I said, people are superficial, selfish and always have ulterior motives.

If I take a simple action, that will become some ridiculous scenario.

I didn't say anything and since I had lost all the money I had, there was nothing else to do here. These streets were my usual road to go home, but due to this unusual and not expected 'event' I had no other choice than to change route.

Luckily she just stood there without saying anything else.

Well, I managed to avoid some unnecessary conflict.

Or so I thought.

Was the sky orange? No.

Was the sky blue? No

The sky is pink with red dyes? I don't think so.

"Does the sky have any color in reality or is it something we only see because we really want to see it?"

What kind of questions were those?

The person who was supposed to be a failed event ended up following me along the street. She was the opposite for my normal and boring being, someone who doesn't even put an interest if the trees are green because nature wanted it, or because it is some caprice of some magician.

That person was a chatterer for my taste.

She followed me closely, so close that I could smell her scent.

Don't think badly about me I'm not a pervert!

But being very close to a girl is a little too much to bear.

"Are you listening to me, senpai?"

"Senpai? Have you been following me all this time, could you stop?"

"Senpai, you really are a grump."

"Stop calling me that, I don't know who you are or what you want but you will not get anything from me."

I said a little annoyed.

Why is this girl calling me senpai in the first place?

We have more or less the same age there is no way for me to be their senpai.

"After all, you're as forgetful as ever, aren't you?"

She said with some sweetness.

She said with a smile on her face.

She for some reason made me remember someone, but for some reason the image of that someone was blurred. As if the memory did not want to be seen.

I felt slightly dizzy.

She gave a slight chuckle and then stopped. We both stopped in the middle of a small bridge, below it passed a river that was not very flowing at this time of year. The trees were painted with that indisputable color that showed the greatest thing of this time. The cherry trees smelled just as well as she did. I shook my head to shake off any useless thoughts.

"Your eyes have changed after all." She said with some sadness. "Well, this is where we split up."

She turned toward the opposite direction just where the bridge ended.

"I live in that direction."

She once again showed a smile that was possibly forced.

Why do I feel so tense?

I wanted to know why she was smiling despite feeling something different from what she wanted to show. I do not know.

What am I doing?

"I see..."

There was no opportunity to say anything, as she left without saying anything else.

"That was very strange."

I did not even ask her name.

"I am so tired."

Without saying anything else I also made my way to my own destiny.

After all there is nobody here living, apart from myself. As the sky was already dark I did nothing but take a bath and sleep.

I am free to do what I want.

Definitely I have to do something about that club.

I don't want to know anything about Yukinoshita Yukino.

* * *

"Wake up, senpai!"

In the morning I heard a noise interrupting my pleasant morning.

I moved between the sheets and with a sharp blow stopped the alarm. Wait a minute! My alarm clock did not make that noise.

I got up from my bed and walked to the window. This department is something that is within my budget. Due the city where I lived before was very far from my current school I had to move and that's how I started to live alone.

At first it was difficult, but little by little I got used to it.

I could do whatever I wanted, eat what I wanted and if I wanted I would not go to school.

It's a joke; probably Komoe-sensei would do some of those dramatic scenes. She lives some streets near here and I can say that she is something like my tutor. For that reason she is always behaving like an afflicted mother.

"Wake up, senpai!"

Again I could hear the screams coming from outside.

Who the hell is making so much noise?

Through the window could not see very well who the cause of that noise was until my forgetful mind remembered.

"It's that girl! After all, she knows where I live!"

I couldn't think of anything else.

She is definitely a stalker!

Maybe someday I did something wrong, or maybe I said something hurtful like I always do. You know, Kamijou-chan should leave that attitude aside.

That's what Komoe-sensei always says.

I had no choice but to walk down the stairs and open the door. I put on the uniform as fast as I could and approach the door cautiously. I knew that yesterday's girl would be standing right in front of my apartment.

I breathed several times and I moved the knob.

"You're slow, senpai."

She said with a pout in the face.

"How long do you plan to leave me waiting? Hurry, let's go to school!"

She pulled my sleeve and pulled me along the way.

"Who are you anyway?"

She turned to me and smiled happily.

"Senpai, you've forgotten what I told you."

"I don't know what you're talking about and at least I want to know what your name is."

I said with a huge question mark on my face.

"About what you asked me, I'm not going to give you any clue."

This girl is too strange.

"You could at least stop calling me that, I have a name, you know?"

"You're boring, Senpai."

She puffed her cheeks when I mentioned that.

She took my hand, immediately my face became as hot as the boiling water. It is unfortunate to say that it is the first time that such a nice girl takes me by the hand in this way. I lost my composure.

She approached so close that I could feel her sweet breath.

"Did you forget I'm your girlfriend! T- o -u-m-a."

She sweetly spelled my name. I felt a tingling throughout my body.

"Hahaha, I was just joking, look, you blushed."

She poked my cheeks with her fingers as she laughed. I honestly don't know how to deal with this girl.

"Isshiki Iroha that's my name, this time try not to forget it, okay?"

The spring of my youth had started without knowing it.

In the end I didn't realize that she knew my name...

* * *

 **Author's notes**

 **First of all an apology to those who read my stories, but I have not had much time to write. Once again, thanks to those who take the time to read what I write, although I know that I am not a good writer and that my grammar is not appropriate, thank you very much ... I hope to improve with time. For now I can say that I know what way this fic will follow and also two other fics that I have not updated yet. I will be writing two new stories and I hope for a better year.**

 **Nothing more to say.**

 **Merry Christmas.**

 **Shidu.**


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